Red Green from the front row

Before this week's story, I should make a disclaimer. If breaking news and objective reporting is what you are wanting, click on Drudge or turn on a segment of 60 Minutes, because objectivity will be nowhere in sight.

About two weeks ago rumor started spreading around my family and around Lee's Summit that a celebrity was coming to town. My progenies' wishes ranged from Bruce Willis of "Die Hard" fame to Miley Cyrus. When the facts started being posted on the front door of the local Westlake Hardware, it became clear that the children would be disappointed and it was Dad's turn to become star struck. Steve Smith aka Red Green was coming to town. If you think Red Green is simply the traditional colors for a popular Christian holiday, then take a moment to look at the website www.redgreen.com. If you like what you see, return to this article.

Red was scheduled to meet fans at Westlake from 1:00 to 4:00 on Saturday July 31. Due to my following one of his rules and letting my wife find me "handy" rather than "handsome" I was not able to get away until 2:00. I talked the boys into going with me and as I started the car, but before pulling out of the drive way, I read a text from my brother asking if I was coming and telling me that he had been waiting an hour and a half to see the man.

We arrived at 2:30 and got in line 20 feet beyond Radio Shack(on the side farther from Westlake.) As we settled in line and I explained to the older boy who Red Green was, the manager of Westlake informed those of us still in line that it was possible we would not see the object of our wait due to a hard schedule he was obligated to meet on this day. Hearing this news, nobody in line left and people kept joining the line. One of my boys was excited that he would see someone who was actually on television. The other wanted to leave and go look at video games at Vintage Stock.

I took my chances that if we got close; we would be allowed to see Red. Being a people watcher by avocation, I noticed the folks in line. Unlike the crowds you see lining up for popular science fiction or wizard movies, there were very few dressed as Red. There were some with red and green suspenders. A couple of gentlemen had plungers for him to sign while many brought rolls of Duct Tape.

I met the folks in front of us in line, Mark and Jane Vaughn of Topeka. They had traveled two hours to see Red. Mark was sporting a Red Green t-shirt his daughter had bought for him and he was the more loyal fan of the two. Behind me in line were brother and sister Paul and Linda Venus of Lee's Summit. They were texting updates from their cell phones to a relative of their progress toward our common goal. When asking others in line how they had learned of Red coming to town, Jim Smith of Pittsville had heard via an email from a friend. The common theme was that this news had spread rapidly and these fans were determined to see their hero.

At 3:12 we reached the front door of the store and Westlake's manager informed us that Red had to leave in 48 minutes. "It has been taking people an hour from the door, you may not get to see him. Part of the problem is that Red is very personable and he enjoys visiting with his fans. We are trying to move him along," he also informed us. Still nobody from the crowd left the line.

We moved closer and it became apparent we would be able to meet the object of our wait. We were given just enough time with him to get a picture taken and a copy of the Man's Prayer "I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess." autographed. This was sufficient face time for his fans judging by the smiles and laughter from folks at they left the store. About 20 people at the end of the line were informed that Red had to leave and they were given autographed pictures and an apology. They seemed disappointed, but there was no looting of the store or public disorder due to this disappointment.

My boys, one excited, one reluctant at first, left excited to have met a true celebrity. I'll have to let them watch one of the episodes recorded on the dvr. In the meantime, I'll see what I can do to bring Bruce Willis to town.